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Jim Perrin’s breaking point

Christmas passed quietly enough and then, as they had been prevented by Jim Perrin from being there for the day itself, Jac’s youngest son came home with his girlfriend; a last visit before they left for a trip to South America — (Jac had convinced them not to change their travel plans so sure was she of her own recovery.)

Again the atmosphere became tense, as this son — even by his very presence — seemed to inflame Jim Perrin. He, still brooding about the ‘damage to his property’ and determined not to let the matter rest (despite having ‘shaken hands’ before Christmas) had no concern for our sister’s feelings or consideration for her illness and ensuing fragility. Instead, he sought the first opportunity to reignite the issue and by continuing to accuse her son increased the already existing tension within the household.

Maddened by the many imagined ‘wrongs’ done to him by this son, and so overcome with the irrational anger which had been building in him for some months, Jim Perrin went so far as to physically assault him… looking back it seems to us it was almost an inevitability, to such a pitch had he orchestrated his violence… Continue reading →

Jim Perrin’s Christmas

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Just days before the Christmas of 2004 Jim Perrin decreed that there would be ‘no Christmas’ that year. It would, he said, remind him of his last Christmas with his son, Will.

Jac’s ‘Welsh’ sister was there on the evening when the announcement was made and hearing raised voices she went through to the kitchen. She found Jim Perrin looming over Jac, who was slipping down, little by little, in the wooden kitchen chair… Her immediate thought was of her sister’s fragility and her seeming inability to withstand the verbal onslaught of the man standing over her, but there was reticence too, a fear of intrusion into what might have been a matter for them only.

‘Is this private? she asked — ‘shall I leave you together?’  Jim Perrin said forcefully, ‘Yes it is’. She got as far as the kitchen door before turning on her heel and saying ‘I don’t care if it is private — you are not to shout at my sister!’ — and questioning Jac she asked again, ‘Do you want me to stay?’ — ‘Yes’, she really would prefer it. Continue reading →

An irrational resentment

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As the year of 2004 drew to its troubled close, things had reached such a pitch in Jim Perrin’s increasingly resentful behaviour and envenomed accusations against our sister’s sons that she began to dread the meetings between them.

To put this into perspective: it was not the case that either son still lived at home, although their own bedrooms were there for them whenever they returned.  One son was by now teaching in Sheffield and the other was completing his course at University in London; and too, with their free time taken up with travel and other youthful involvements, they were not all that often in Wales.  When they did go home they were frequently ‘out and about’ locally, meeting up with their old school friends.  Normal life, in other words, for those in that age group, and a pattern which will be recognised by parents everywhere.  They were initially, as we all were, really very happy for their mother, ref. our post Jac’s relationship with Jim Perrin, and completely supportive, and they just got on with their lives as before.

Nevertheless Jim Perrin had very soon, after moving to our sister’s house in the Autumn of 2003, convinced himself that her sons were, in his words ‘against’ him — simply not true; and attributed to them all manner of misdemeanours and disrespectful and insulting behaviour.  He managed always to imbue their home-comings with feelings of unease. Continue reading →