Tag Archives: Controlling Behaviour

Jim Perrin plans a régime change

Within hours of our sister’s death — still disbelieving, although in shocked but certain knowledge — we were gathering in a family room at the ‘Countess of Chester’ hospital.  We had not left her, but — as we felt the need — were moving to and fro; reluctant to accept the finality that she had gone from us… it was then, several hours after Jac had died, that Jim Perrin finally reached the hospital and joined us.

Our ‘Welsh’ sister, after she arrived at the hospital at 07.00 that morning, had contacted as many of us as she could, to tell us of Jac’s worsening condition. Jim Perrin was the first she had tried to telephone — Jac was at this point still alive — although it was not possible to reach him, ref. our post Our Account of Jac’s Illness … part 4. But as soon as he responded to his mobile he was informed.

He had left Jac early the previous day (and he was not with her at the moment of her death, as he so lyingly described in his book — nor had he been during those long, drifting hours before she died.) Yet he came to the hospital many hours later than all those who had made their long journeys to Chester: from Cumbria; from Yorkshire; and from as far away as Suffolk — as well as from various places in Wales. Continue reading →

Jim Perrin’s depression

We do of course quite understand why, after her death, Jim Perrin should have wished to stay on at our sister’s house; and given his particular circumstances — out-lined in our previous posts — the remote moorland location and the low costs of living there made it ideal for him: but, as we have shown, his plan to take over the tenancy had markedly failed.

However, even while Jac was alive, his dissatisfaction was never far from the surface.  He actively discouraged visitors — both her family and her friends. Sometimes he even sneakily disconnected the telephone (although it was not at first realised by the family that he had done so) as he was less able to be in control, of her and of the situation, when they were not alone; as he wrote to her once:

‘When you began to re-engage with your former acquaintances and with your family, things began to go wrong.’  !?!?! Continue reading →

Jim Perrin thinks highly of himself

In the next section of Jim Perrin’s letter he told Jac of his intention to accept an offer for his house: there was considerable ‘psychology’ concerning their relationship, and many more ‘positive’ thoughts. He then wrote this paragraph:

‘Given that I had absolutely nothing and now have a house full of belongings and considerable equity why should I feel insecure anyway? [This must have been in response to something Jac had said to him.] Particularly since work-wise things are going very well for me, the critical reception for what I do is higher than ever, my craft is coming to fruition.‘ Again he wrote of ‘fixing up a good working environment for [her]’. (The ‘environment’ in which for nearly sixteen years she had created such lovely stained-glass!)

Her studio was known in the family as ‘the cold room’ — it still is to this day — and Jim Perrin, in the time he lived there, did nothing at all to ‘fix it up’. They were merely more of his tempting words. Not that Jac minded, it was her very personal space — one in which she felt contented and secure.

Continue reading →