Tag Archives: Controlling Behaviour

Overheard at the funeral by ‘Melangell’ (JP?)

There was one particularly disgraceful comment posted by ‘Melangell’ in The Guardian, 24/07/2010 — which we feel needs a detailed response. Firstly may we make it clear that we believe the comment to be complete fabrication, as well as all the others by ‘Melangell’ on that thread, and was in our opinion written by Jim Perrin in an attempt to discredit us in the minds of the readers. Ref. our post A question of Identity.

This is the comment:

‘I lost any respect I had for your family when I overheard one of you, actually at the funeral, mocking a distraught Jim, for having spent everything he had on Jacquetta in her last couple of years. Some humanity there!’ 

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This is our explanation:

It is hardly believable that he should do so but shortly after our sister’s death, even before her funeral, Jim Perrin untruthfully told her children that it had been Jac’s ‘dying wish’ that he should take on the tenancy of their home. He explained that of course they would be most welcome to stay there… But then he added that ‘there would have to be changes around here; a régime change’ — these were the exact words he used.

Continue reading →

The last in this sequence of our account of our sister’s illness

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In part four of this account we stated that ‘He’ (Jim Perrin) ‘had left her to die alone’.

Horrific as that sounds we have tried — really tried, to find an explanation for his actions. If he had previously thought, as we all did (and as he had actually told us, after he had left the hospital on the eve of her death) that Jac ‘was a little better tonight’ — why — and here is the glaring anomaly, did he say in both his article ‘Touching the Void’, (this title is plagiarised from a book by Joe Simpson), and in his book West — that he actually knew then that our sister was dying? — and certainly, by the use of subtlety and actual sophistry, in words and phrasing, give the reader to believe that he was with her; both during that last period of time and right up to and including the moment of her death? (actually just before a quarter past midday, not ‘about 11.00 am’ as he wrote). Continue reading →

Jim Perrin consults the I Ching

Letter 4:
‘Jac, when you and I were at Manchester house [our sister stayed there after she had damaged her ribs in a fall] we were happy together. When I sold it and moved to your house, and you began to re-engage with your former acquaintances and with your family, things started to go wrong. You say we had months of happiness. I didn’t. From moving in here or even before, I was under attack, the brunt of goads and discourtesies, taking veiled resentment from many quarters. People are only initially and superficially well-intentioned towards those who love each other. Learn that hard truth. After the initial glad acceptance their own agendas cut in with a vengeance. And have done. I will not take malicious and distorting gossip, or covert and selfish acting-out any more. Are you strong enough and committed enough to stand with me and put a stop to it?’

‘Weasel-worded support of that friend will not bring you your happiness again.’

(Our note:  This is a jealous reference to one of Jac’s best-loved friends — a friendship of over fifteen years and it is an added tragedy that she herself has now died of cancer.)

Jim Perrin then goes on:

‘The I Ching just told me: ”You are involved with cruel people intent on their mastery. This way will close for them. See this clearly and leave now. You will be caught in a flood of unfair insults and abuse that deeply anger you. This is not a mistake. Announce your decision. Be very clear and leave now.” ‘

‘You by denying time and time again the truth in what I say, give them ammunition. Don’t betray me any more.’… ‘How about returning that with some loyalty, some straight-forwardness, some insight into all the resentments and difficulties and concealed anger that has been precipitated in your family — and the ways in which, inevitably and from all quarters, I’ve born the brunt of that?  This is not paranoia on my part [only too true: it is ‘perrinoia’] — it’s how families operate, and I’ve seen it from near and far throughout my life.’

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It seem so many of the sentences in these letters to our sister clearly exhibit the controlling mechanisms used by domineering dangerous cult leaders…

We have included the letters on our site so that readers may judge for themselves the author’s ‘talent’ as a writer, as an amateur psychologist and as a ‘friend and lover’, and to show actual evidence of his lack of care or consideration for our sister as she neared the end of her life. Apart from the details which we have already given — and will be giving — in our posts, we ask you to bear in mind that these letters were actually written to Jac during the last three weeks in January 2005, when she had gone to Yorkshire to find peace of mind.  (Ref. our post  Jac’sTemporary Escape).

We believe that they show startling examples of Jim Perrin’s ‘right-mindedness’ and that they reveal his astonishing hypocrisy. What in our opinion is even worse is that they resonate with deliberate mental cruelty.

Is it any wonder that our poor sister shook her head in disbelief on receipt of these letters?  What kind of man indeed could have written them?

Jac’s sisters.