Tag Archives: Controlling Behaviour

Jim Perrin sabotaged Jac’s temporary escape

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After her penultimate course of chemotherapy Jac was taken by her daughter to stay with her ‘Yorkshire’ sister, as they had arranged between them just after their sad Christmas. That had been a most traumatic time and Jim Perrin’s anger still had not subsided; Jac was relieved, and very happy to be able to go away and to escape the controlling behaviour with which she was beset .

He wrote in his book, West — ‘In January Jac went for three weeks to Yorkshire, staying with a sister whilst she tried different treatments.’ (ref. page 263).

The reason that she went to Yorkshire was to spend time away from Jim Perrin. She even considered staying there for her final session of chemotherapy. She was stressed and unhappy in her own home, so much so that even at that extreme point in her illness she chose to go away to the peace of her sister’s house. Continue reading →

Jim Perrin applies more pressure

Following the quite dreadful and emotionally exhausting week after Christmas — as well as the long months before — during which Jac had suffered from Jim Perrin’s intransigence, and her consequent decision to go to Yorkshire for three weeks to escape him, ref. our post Gone to Ground, he tried, as was always his way with her, to overrule her wishes.

Even in the aftermath of his uncontrolled assault on one of her sons,  ref. our post Breaking Point, and after the melodrama of his caravan ‘sit in’, he wrote to her from the caravan, only days later, a letter which was (unbelievably, considering the very recent circumstances) still full of recrimination, and annoyance with her sons, family and friends.  At the end of this two-page letter — with no hint of remorse, contrition or apology for his recent behaviour— he tried to persuade/prevent Jac from going away to stay with her ‘Yorkshire’ sister as they had planned after he had attacked her son…

Bearing in mind his latest transgressions — even his cruelty towards her, he still (amazingly, it seems to us) had the nerve to write to her in this vein.  For background to this, please read our post ‘Swallow Falls’ in which we describe how Jim Perrin had, in a conversation with our sister, blamed her family for his own failure to be able to relate to his son.  Not unnaturally she had refuted this yet given the circumstances we have shown above, he still, like a dog with a bone, wrote the letter from which we now quote, which demonstrates his determination always to justify himself: Continue reading →

Jim Perrin’s Christmas

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Just days before the Christmas of 2004 Jim Perrin decreed that there would be ‘no Christmas’ that year. It would, he said, remind him of his last Christmas with his son, Will.

Jac’s ‘Welsh’ sister was there on the evening when the announcement was made and hearing raised voices she went through to the kitchen. She found Jim Perrin looming over Jac, who was slipping down, little by little, in the wooden kitchen chair… Her immediate thought was of her sister’s fragility and her seeming inability to withstand the verbal onslaught of the man standing over her, but there was reticence too, a fear of intrusion into what might have been a matter for them only.

‘Is this private? she asked — ‘shall I leave you together?’  Jim Perrin said forcefully, ‘Yes it is’. She got as far as the kitchen door before turning on her heel and saying ‘I don’t care if it is private — you are not to shout at my sister!’ — and questioning Jac she asked again, ‘Do you want me to stay?’ — ‘Yes’, she really would prefer it. Continue reading →