Tag Archives: Psychological Pressure

Jac refuses to marry Jim Perrin

Jim Perrin had planned to take over our sister’s house. Within months of their meeting he persuaded her that he should live with her — ‘coerced’ is certainly not too strong when one considers his letter of August 18th 2003, ref. our post Jim Perrin – A Cuckoo in the Nest? — and whilst we know that in the first months she was very much under his influence yet the pressure he exerted was not only intense but dishonourable. She was given little time to think before he put his plan into action; he knew that she was still sharing the house with her long-term partner — they had been there for some sixteen years — but for his plan to succeed he needed to ensure the departure, the ‘eviction’ of this substantial impediment…

Although Jim Perrin’s overwhelming necessity was to ‘disappear’ and to escape the recent attentions of the Child Support Agency there was the additional matter of his precarious personal resources. After juggling his mortgage and (we saw the evidence) several overdrafts, credit cards and loan companies, for him to live in our sister’s house would be the perfect solution to many of these difficulties. Financially speaking he was on very  thin ice indeed: never having sufficient funds to pay off Peter after robbing Paul.

He had pressed her (oh how hard he had pressed her) to marry him legally — this , we thought at the time, was because he felt he would then have entitlement to her property. Jac used to tell her ‘Welsh’ sister of his latest attempts: of how he repeatedly asked her to marry him saying that he ‘would not believe she loved him if she refused’ — this was nothing more or less than emotional blackmail — and that his ‘happiness would only be complete if she consented’. But she did not want to marry him, agreeing with her sister’s sentiment, (so frequently expressed during their night-time conversations that it had become an on-going joke between them), which was that in this relationship ‘a ring on your finger would be a ring through your nose!’ Instinctively Jac knew this — which is why she refused to countenance the possibility and consistently refused to give in to his blandishments.

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Jim Perrin thinks highly of himself

In the next section of Jim Perrin’s letter he told Jac of his intention to accept an offer for his house: there was considerable ‘psychology’ concerning their relationship, and many more ‘positive’ thoughts. He then wrote this paragraph:

‘Given that I had absolutely nothing and now have a house full of belongings and considerable equity why should I feel insecure anyway? [This must have been in response to something Jac had said to him.] Particularly since work-wise things are going very well for me, the critical reception for what I do is higher than ever, my craft is coming to fruition.‘ Again he wrote of ‘fixing up a good working environment for [her]’. (The ‘environment’ in which for nearly sixteen years she had created such lovely stained-glass!)

Her studio was known in the family as ‘the cold room’ — it still is to this day — and Jim Perrin, in the time he lived there, did nothing at all to ‘fix it up’. They were merely more of his tempting words. Not that Jac minded, it was her very personal space — one in which she felt contented and secure.

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Jim Perrin — a cuckoo in the nest?

In another letter to our sister, Jim Perrin — ruthlessly and without any shame — applied the greatest pressure in order to persuade her that she should ‘get rid’ of her current partner: he who was still living in their home and funding the household; still sharing their bedroom; and who had his long-established business and workshop in one of their barns. Ref. our post Jac’s Last Long Relationship.

In her own way, which was never confrontational, and in her own time, not wishing to cause her partner greater hurt, by now Jac felt she wished for a separation, albeit she was certainly having second thoughts. He had his life there too, and his workshop-studio, and she hated to cause him unnecessary extra pain; and then of course there would be the enormous upheaval of moving the contents of his work-shop; all the wood, tools and machinery which he had accumulated over the years. So, as we said, in her own time and in her own way Jac was trying to find a civilized solution. Continue reading →